"I was a fool to believe,
It all ends today.
Today's the day when dreaming ends"
How can something as innocent as a dream end up filling you with so much sorrow? In reality it is defined as nothing more than "a series of mental images and emotions occurring during sleep" or "a state of mind characterized by abstraction and release from reality". However in my case dreams have become a cage, concealing me within the corners of my mind as an inevitable series of events haunt my state of mind to the point of insanity. They force me to see faces remember... Remember past tears and heart wrenching pain that kills me. It makes me feel weak, and helpless two things I had always promised myself I would never be.
When will it end? When will I forget? When can I cure myself of my ridiculous obsession with love? The one thing that always deepens my pain to an unforeseen level is the reminder of how unloved I truly am. My mother has always regretted having me, and my brother has always envied me. My friends are the closest thing I have to love, but they have families of their own that mean so much more to them than I ever could. And to believe for a second that within these dreams I could possibly be seen as something special in the eyes of another just cuts me even deeper.
I just want the dreams to stop, FOREVER, that way I will never hope again. And maybe one day it will hurt a little less than it does now. Maybe.
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dreams can be so many things and it sucks when they turn negative, see the beauty instead, no matter how horrible, its better than the alternative obsession and hurt... i used to be scared of my dreams, now i just take them in... when you stop thinking about it, it usually stops harassing you, corny i know.... sometimes friends are enough to sustain you until you find a place
ReplyDeleteUgh I feel the same way as you. My dreams haunt me to no end and it sucks. The freaky thing is some of my dreams come true.
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